The Must-Have Mortgage Race

"Quick", they tell you, "prices are rising, if you don't do it now you'll never get onto the property ladder". In fact, and to be fair, this is probably sound advice. Sound advice, indeed, if that's what your aspirations are. But why do it? In a rented apartment the maintenance is the responsibilty and hence, the cost of the landlord. Broken washing machine - no problem. Faulty radiators - no problem. Need a new carpet - "leave it with me" replies your caring landlord. Both my brother-in-law and stepfather recently replaced their boilers, somewhere around £1200 was the size of the hole burnt into each of their trouser pockets.

Of course it would be great to own your own property. Imagine, you can do what you want to it, just don't forget to pay for the associated bills that come along with it. The problem today is, how can first-time buyers get on the property ladder? For those that are lucky enough to find the first rung, well, then they're at the mercy of money grabbing landlords who want to sell you a stingy converted one-bedroom flat with plenty of plaster board to go with it.

So you get the flat, later you make some profit as the market value increases, "great, we've made thirty grand, lets get a bigger place". Problem? No problem. You buy somewhere with an extra bedroom. So the cycle repeats until the kids have flown the nest and you're left with your 'significant other' enjoying the rest of your days.

One of you leaves this world first; usually the man, sorry but that's just the way it is gentlemen. So mother has to fend for herself. Eventually the savings dry up as does mother's ability to live at home alone. Poor health requires mother to sell up and move into a nursing home; a real bargain at around £600 per week. That gives your mum about five years in the nursing home before all the money goes and by that time, they really don't want her occupying that nice double room that you've been paying for.

So what happened to all that wealth that accumulated from the mortgage? Well, it went to the owner of the nursing home; nice chap he is that one. The clever ones amongst us, however, made our parents sign the house over to us way before their health began to deteriorate. This ensuring that the authorities couldn't force us to use our parents money to foot the nursing home's atrocious weekly bills. Great, now the government has to pay the bill. But this time the nursing home provided isn't quite the place that you had expected to put your mother or father in; go visit one and you'll see what I mean. So what do you do? Give up the inheritance you were hoping for so that Mum and Dad can be put in a home that's at least half decent? Or forget about them, let them live in squalor while you enjoy that money that you been waiting a hell of a long time for? I guess we could always knock the parents off early.